Match of A Sentence: France 2 Nigeria 0
Young Shoreditch hairdressers get nervous when facing off to less metro-sexual Africans; luckily little Valbreana is too cute (and small), wearing his socks over his knees, seducing the Nigerians into encouraging him to score.
Match of A Sentence: Germany 2 Algeria 0
A team of 80s frat-boy-villains look outdated, almost allowing Algeria to achieve a Mighty Ducks narrative win, only for them to score an early goal in extra time making you lament golden goals..
Don't Give Up Having A Funny Face....... Mesut Ozil is Peter Lorre
Messut Ozil does not have the face to be cheered in the stands but sadly jeered and booed! Like the incredibly talented but forever typecast Hollywood villain, Peter Lorre who share his sick puppy face. Its not that Ozil has the arrogance of Ronaldo to upset or anger fans; it's that he seems to be demoted to classy character roles. Such a big star four years ago, very much the leader of a young German side, he has now retreated into a Noirish shadow cast by the Bayern Munich players, Thomas Muller, Mario Gotze and Phillip Lahm. Peter Lorre may have never been a star except when he was playing child murders and perverts but often his performance was the best on screen. So Ozil might not be the leading man he once hoped to be but he needs to remember that their are many Christopher Marlows, but there is only one Peter Lorre.
Man Crush Of The Day: Peter Odemwingie
Sometimes you have a love you don't understand. The boyfriend your parents told you not to go out with, not because he was a bad boy but because he was generally a really fucked-up mess of a person. Peter Odemwingie is that boyfriend! The kind of man who is always going to cause drama. Peter is famous for driving to a prospective new club, the uber rich Queens Park Rangers, on transfer deadline day only to be told that he needed to go back to his current club, West Brom. This is the same as the weird kid knocking on your door and offering you flowers he has picked from your own garden and swearing his undying love for you; Peter was just a little confused not actually cunning but naive and embarrassing. My attraction to Peter must be based on that odd sincerity and the comfort in knowing that he would be too thick to ever cheat on me and get away with it. Also we forget after such drama off the pitch that Peter can actually play on it and for the first half against France he dominated the midfield and looked like the player most likely to create a chance. So forget the public embarrassment, forget falling out with every manager you have ever had and forget thanking therapist in post-match interviews. Peter is a mad love, one that makes the world a more interesting place.
World Cup Moral Barometer
Today's judgments using ill informed opinion and invalidated facts from Wikipedia.
Argentina VS Switzerland
Moral Argument: For Sun readers the country that stole the Falklands and gave us Maradonna are second only to the Germans as being sperm of Satan, while they perceive the Swiss as cuckoo clock making simpletons who like pen knifes and bank accounts. When actually Argentina after the economic crash in 2002 have been growing steadily and not seen the poverty gap widen. In contrast Swiss nationals have the right to own fire arms, many homes come with air raid bunkers and they have brought in laws banning minarets, with the public believing "Islam is not compatible with Swiss life." So the country that gave you Maradonna or country that believes the Apocalypse is imminent.
In Football Terms: The Swiss are going to be as defensive as their immigration policy (dam tight) while Argentina are going to play such an attacking line-up that most of their players will be out of position, except the best player in the world.
Argentina 3 Switzerland 0
Belgium VS USA
Moral Argument: So much has been written about the morality of the United States that it seems pointless add to the argument, and Belgium is a made up country.So ask yourself the simple question - hamburgers or chocolate?
In Football Terms: Lots of talented players appear functional while a lot of functional players appear talented. You decided which is which?
Belgium 1 USA 1 (USA win on penalties and burgers)
Soon I will never mention two of these teams again. I would say we have seen two memorable sides be sent home since entering the knock-out stages:Mexico and Chile. Uruguay and bigger sides may have taken the headlines but plaudits for being a memorable World Cup team who no one wanted see to leave belongs to the Chileans and Mexicans. Maybe Switzerland and USA will prove me wrong...
