So we finally have had our first bad day of football, not really bad as it is football, but this was the first day when you felt it could have been better.
Match of A Sentence: Belgium 2 Algeria 1
Belgium ballerinas look really pretty but make a misstep to give Algeria the advantage and eventually resort to the British dance tradition of the bish bash bosh, with Ferllaini flourishing.
Match of A Sentence: Brazil 0 Mexico 0
No one likes expectant hosts at a party; so when a bunch of boring Brazilians queue up to score a goal or be rewarded a penalty kick and their Mexican guests don't oblige and their girly looking keeper is just plain rude, the locals protest.
Match of A Sentence: Russia 1 South Korea 1
Dodgy goalkeepers throw the ball in, out, and shake it all about, leaving two third division World Cup teams to score the worse goals of the tournament, however their was a player called Shatov which the commentator pronounced "Shatoff" (sorry but it was a poor game).
Don't Give Up Rupaul's Drag Race........ Thiago Silva
Let's be honest, Brazilians make great drag queens! Neymar, Gustavo Silva, even Danny Alves could be believed to seen strutting their stuff in stilettos at carnival , but Thiago Silva is the captain of the footballing divas. Cheekbones to die for! A feminine curved chin! Pouts to frighten any opponent! "I don't know if I want him to tackle me or make love to me," will run through any opposing striker's confused mind as Thiago's predatory and steely eyes befall them. Thiago could lead the queer revolution of football and everyone would follow him, especially yesterday's referee, who should of sent him off for producing such a gratuitous tackle.
Man Crush of the Day: Rafael Marquez
Mexican goalkeeper Guillmero Ochoa may have produced the performance of the tournament so far but that's just one tournament! What about Rafael Marquez! Captain of Mexico at four world cups, Marguez has won the champions league, Spanish and French league titles and cups, and back in day was regarded as one of the greatest defenders in the world. Brilliant positioning and effortless technique are still present at 35, though he has lost the pace and energy. No longer does he play as the play maker center half who may riffle a shot from long range. The legs are tired and the glory years are gone! However like most young girls I like my men older and wiser. Wearing a face that commands respect with years of experienced etched into his cold eyes. My love has been nurtured from the different ages of Marquez, from the pony tail gallantry, of his Barcelona playing career, to his present poise and courage, to run an offside trap against Brazil inside his own penalty area. Looking at the different eras of the man you can see why for over a decade so many strikers have gone weak at knees, long before Thiago Silva got his tackle out.
World Cup Predictor
So yesterday was the most boring day so far in the World Cup, but it's not that boring because it was still football. Many friends think my decision to watch the world cup is tad obsessive and might be born about of depressive lack of something! Which again got me thinking about football! "As long as it makes you happy?" Is the frequent conclusion of my bemused chums often coupled with an indifferent shrug and again this attitude got me thinking about football. Football does not equal happy! Its bigger than that! Not that the simple equation might have some merit. So today's match predictions are based on the country happiness, using The Propeserty Index of 2013 (collated by Legatum Institute) which is the only global measurement of prosperity based both on income and well being (please visit the website www.prosperity.com as its well worth a look).
Croatia (Ranked 53) VS Cameroon (Ranked 115)
Croatians are supposedly twice as happy as Cameroonians! Tell that to your Croat friend and maybe they will cheer the fuck up (that means you George! And don't give me that I'm a Serb crap).
Croatia 2 Cameroon 0
Spain (Ranked 23) VS Chile (Ranked 35)
Again in my experience Chileans are far more fun loving than Spaniards! I guess that's cause all Chilians I know live in London and all Spaniards live in London. Spain 2 Chile 1
Netherlands (Ranked 9) VS Australia (Ranked 7)
The relaxed content culture of the Dutch against the aggressively joyous personalities of Oz. Personally I don't believe Australians can be as happy as they claim,they must be faking it! They have too much zealous energy to be really happy, surely happy is relaxed not being loud and rude. Their boisterous celebrations must be to hide that lack of not being miserable and English. Netherlands 2 Australia 2.
So I guess a blog post full of homoerotic jokes about a player's tackle means I am finally scraping the football barrel for things to say. Maybe tomorrow's post can be written completely in football cliches. I just need to keep calm and carry on... Just like Joe Hart
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