Raise A Cup

I measure my life by World Cups. Maybe it’s a sign of emptiness of my existence, or privilege, most likely both, but as my real age speeds up to forty my World Cup age keeps to a steady pace. Currently I am only 8 World Cups old, with no worries about marriage, children or even the thought of a mortgage. Caught in the incubator of London, my youth has extended into my thirties and I plan to fill the void of material and mental maturity with a childhood fantasy to watch every World Cup match. Before I begin let me regress to the brief memories of my past lives.

World Cup 86 / Aged 2: Too busy eating dirt to choke on the most vilified act in World Cup history. Clearly I have no memory of 86 just retroactive information from a battered VHS and a well-worn mother.

World Cup 90 / Age 6: My earliest World Cup memory is when my class mate,  Bon Grub (the child with the largest hands and named after the dead  lead singer of AC/DC), bragged about how his step-dad had gone out to smash up a "BMW" after the England Germany semi-final. I laughed! Not that I knew what a BMW was, nor that they were manufactured in Germany, that the alleged act of violence was a direct result of a football match and that violence was not cool. Basically I knew nothing. However, the shame of not knowing did spur me on to be a non-violent, well-informed, politically correct, football fan. 

World Cup 94 / Age 10: Children my age with their country's flags painted over their small innocent faces, in a Utopian netherworld that existed only before ITV's coverage of World Cup 94 - and just before my mum sent me to bed.

World Cup 98 / Age 14: Teenage kicks with Ronaldo, Zidane, Bergkamp, Chilivert, Okocha and Suker. I had the coolest gang in Norwich with the most exotic names from the entire East Anglia region. Alas, to still have friends like these.

World Cup 02 / Age 18: The up-setters' world cup, when you realized anyone can lose to anyone and gain the love of the crowd, which coincided with my rise to popularity.From 18 I was as popular as the South Korean team playing at home in world cup semi final after bribing the referee to beat Spain and Italy.

World Cup 06 / Age 22: Fresh from graduating from Uni with my whole life ahead of me, I was full of optimism and hope until we lost to Portugal in a wink of an eye; the best player in the world head-butted a fascist and Italy won the World Cup. All of a sudden the world was a scarier place.

World Cup 10 / Age 26: After ending my longest relationship to date and subsequently making myself homeless for the entire World Cup, I ensured I still kept my friends by telling them that England did not deserve to beat Germany, Ozil was a god and that we had not played well the entire tournament. It was a difficult time! I was hurting and as about poplar as Luis Suarz in a Ghanaian church (and at least he turned out to be one of the best footballers in the world).      

World Cup 14 / Age 30: Who knows....

As you can see I know nothing about football and offer no unique perspective into the wonderful game. If you want a tactical insight go to Zonal Marking.com or read Johnathan Wilson. The World is Football, is a simple idea that the whole world can be related to football (well at least for 31 days), an attempt to broaden the most globalized sport even further so it stretches and snaps in on itself (or just me). So I hope you follow me with my daily posts 

Next Post: Shortest World Cup Preview Ever For The Uninterested Armchair Supporter (i.e. my girlfriend)

Group A and Group B