The Shortest World Cup Preview Ever: Group G

Group G

Another attempt to broaden the football vocabulary while at the same time shortening it. John Motson read this..

Germany are… Aeonian

Aeonian (love this word)

adjective everlasting ; eternal.

Portugal are… Gall

Gall (hate this word)

noun 1. Imprudence; effrontery.2 bile, especially that of an animal.3 something bitter or severe.4.bitterness of spirit; rancor. (Anyone who is not a Man U, Real or Portugal fan understands what I am getting at).

USA are… Lionize

Lionize (indifferent to his word)

verb (used with object) to exhibit the objects of interest of (place/person/or themselves). verb (used without object) to visit the objects of interest of interest of a place (basically they are like keen tourists).

Ghana are… Avengement

Avengement (impossible to be indifferent to this word)

noun the inflicting of retributive punishment; satisfaction taken

(they maybe not quite superheroes but watch out Uruguay).

And just to prove football and superheroes should never mix or Chelsea and Superheroes!            I give you

Doesn't that make you feel sick inside.

The Shortest World Cup Preview Ever: Group E

This maybe a reductive world cup preview but you have to agree it would improve most pundits vocabulary…

Group H

France are…Malfeasance (how evil does that word sound)

Malfeasance

noun the performance by a public official of an act that is legally unjustified (how did they get this easy), harmful (home of FIFA), or contrary to law (ask Ireland); wrongdoing (at least Nasri will not be there)

Ecuador are… Funambulist

Funambulist

noun a tightrope walker (good at high altitude (home games) rubbish away (every game at the world cup)).

Honduras are…. Mollycoddled

noun 1. A man of boy who is used to being coddled; a milksop (as the recent friendly against England demonstrated this team are bunch of big babies of the violent kind) verb (used with object), 2. To coddle pamper. The western media coddle Honduras football team despite them all being built like Brick-shit house.

Switzerland are… Normcore (will be in the Oxford Dictionary soon)

noun is a unisex fashion trend characterized by unpretentious, average-looking clothing (not saying they are an asexual team they are just a bit per functionary)

And just to prove normcore is a real thing…

For the record Jerry, George, Krammer and Elaine will not be playing for Switzerland because that would be anything but normal.

The Shortest World Cup Preview Ever: Group D

Group D

Let the derision continue. Especially as this entire group is defined by one team…

  

Costa Rica are …. Deign

Deign

verb (used without object)1.to think fit or in accordance with one's dignity; condescend: They would not deign to win the game

  

Uruguay are … Disenthralled

Disenthralled

verb (used with object) to free from bondage ; liberate: to be disenthralled from defensive responsibilities and let Daniel Sturbridge score

Italy are… Opaque

Opaque

adjective 1. not transparent or translucent; impenetrable to light; not allowing light to pass through (I am now getting nervous as I type).2. not transmitting radiation (good to know) 3. not shining or bright; dark ; dull 4. hard to understand; not clear; obscure: The definition remains opaque despite the help of an online dictionary. 5. Dull, stupid, or unintelligent (I think you can take comfort from this last one).

England are… Resurrection

Resurrection

noun 1. The act of rising from the dead 2. ( initial capital letter ) the rising of Gerrard after his slip and humiliation. 3 ( initial capital letter ) the rising of the dead on the day of judgement (14/06/14). 4. The state of those risen form the dead (lovely Roy Hodgson). 5. a rising again from as from decay, disuse, Kevin Nugent, etc, etc,

They are making one with David's face being replaced by Daniel for this tournament

long may supporting England continue till the day of reckoning

The Shortest World Cup Preview Ever: Group C

Group C

Japan are… belittle

(Not because of the average height of the team but the nature of media’s attitude towards them)

Belittle

verb (used with object), to regard or portray as less impressive or important than appearances indicate; depreciate; disparage.

Ivory Coast are…. Brawny (because athletic would be too much of a racist commentary cliché)

adjective. muscular; strong.

Greece are….. Mythos

Mythos

verb, the underlying system of beliefs(defend, defend and defend), especially those dealing with supernatural   forces (like how do they qualify), characteristic of a particular cultural group.

Columbia are Fusilade

 noun 1.a simultaneous or continuous discharge of firearms.2.a general discharge or outpouring of anything: a fusillade of shots, goals, fusillades. 2.verb (used with object), scoring.

The Shortest World Cup Preview Ever, For The Uninterested Armchair Supporter. Part One: Group A and Group B

So much is being written about the World Cup; so much online content posted (be it trivial or archival) and with so much speculative tactical analysis, it’s hard to inform opinion or have one of your own.

What if you could just describe an entire team in just one word and shout it at the TV set. I don’t mean chanting “En-gurr-lund” or whatever name of your native land is, but shouting something surprising.

What if this one word summed up everything you needed to know about the country and brought you a mythical form of insight.

What if the footy illiterates, emasculated, David Mitchell types could sit next to Roy Keane, Grahame Souness and other footballing hard-men of this world without fear of persecution, all thanks to one word.

Puzzled girlfriends, infantile children and Oxbridge types…

I give you…

The Shortest World Cup Preview Ever, for The Uninterested Armchair supporter.

Every team in one word.

Call me UKIP! But I think summing up a complete football squad and its population in just one word makes things easier and has marketing potential.

Group A

Brazil are…Prime

prime

adjective 1. of the first importance; demanding the fullest consideration: a prime requisite for a Nike Advert.2.of the greatest relevance or significance: a prime example, Pele. 4. of the greatest commercial value: prime building lots (i.e. favelas).

Croatia are… Concise

concise

adjective expressing or covering much in few words; brief in form but comprehensive in scope;     succinct; terse: Croatia are a concise example of football's worse 90s haircuts.




  "cause he's worth it,"

Cameroon are…Persist

persist

verb (used without object)1.to continue steadfastly or firmly in some state, purpose, course of action, or the like,    especially inspite of opposition, remonstrance, etc.: to persist despite training lack of training facilities, wages or performance bonuses; 2.to last or endure tenaciously: The legend of King Eto has persisted for nearly fifteen centuries.

Mexico are….. Custom

noun

1.a habitual practice; the usual way of acting in given circumstances i.e. always qualifying despite never being that good.

Group B

Spain are…Fastidious 

adjective1.excessively particular, critical, or demanding; hard to please: a fastidious commentator.

2.requiring or characterized by excessive care or delicacy; painstaking.

Netherlands are…Mondaine

adjective Characteristic of fashionable society; worldly

(from French: see mundane)

Chile are…. Propulsion

 noun

1.the act or process of propelling (towards goal). 2.the state of being propelled (from the defence).3. a means of propelling (leaving only Gary Medel).

Australia are….. Snarl

verb (used without object)

1.to growl threateningly or viciously, especially with a raised upper lip to bare the teeth, as a dog (think Walkabout on a Saturday night).

verb (used with object)

2.to say by snarling: to snarl a corner flag.